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Forsake harmony

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God blast them, wish-wash

“Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable sodding rotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering palsied pulse-less lot that make up England today. They’ve got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery its a marvel they can breed. They can nothing but frog-spawn — the gibberers! God, how I hate them! God curse them, funkers. God blast them, wish-wash. Exterminate them, slime.

I could curse for hours and hours — God help me.”

—D. H. Lawrence

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“I estimated the lowering of the sun with one eye while at the back of my mind the lizard rustling continued. the blistering apples of the manzanillo reminded me of an inconsequential wild-plum fall far away in Nebraska. They were not edible but they contained the same, if a simpler, version of the mystery hidden in our heads. They were hoarding and dispersing energy while the inanimate universe was running down around us.

Unlike the fire in a thicket, life burned cunningly and hoarded its resources. Energy provisions in the seed provided against individual death. Of all the unexpected qualities of an unexpected universe, the sheer organizing power of animal and plant metabolism is one of the most remarkable, but, as in the case of most everyday marvels, we take it for granted.”

—Loren Eiseley “The Last Neanderthal”

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This is not just a religious phenomenon

Everyone wants to get closer to the divine – to those that have secrets or those that have talent – the idols – musicians, writers, actors, celebs, teachers.

Anything to distract from the Self.

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Meaning – Symbols

“When it comes to the meaning of anything, even the simplest word, then you must pause. Because there are two great categories of meaning, forever separate. There is mob meaning and there is individual meaning. The word will take the individual off on his own journey, and its meaning will be his own meaning, based on his own genuine imaginative reaction. And when a word comes to us in its individual character and starts in us the individual response it is a great pleasure to us.”

— D. H. Lawrence

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Deprivation tank


Did I see anything in the tank?

Yeah. I saw skulls. Human skulls and I would blink and there would be a buffalo skull – blink – and a skull of something else, some humanoid and others animal-like or dinosaur. Then I saw skulls of things I’ve never seen before, somewhat demonic-looking skulls. I saw ghosts but they were just faces, only glimpses. Always they had their mouths open like they were moaning. I saw what looked like a buffalo, but a full one and not just its skull. I felt something grab my toe.

But none of these things were truly vivid (except toe grab). All visions were of a red-electric color, like the images in your eye after you rub them – the phosphenes. Most tank experiences that I have read seem like they are phosphene visions with red stars (I saw no stars or universes). I’m certain this phosphene experience is grand with psychedelic drugs.

Probably won’t go back in the tank. I had better mystic experience going alone into the woods. Someone told me that going into the woods alone helps depression. The last time I did that I ended up in the emergency room. But I did see and experience more things out in the woods alone – like areas with a lot of hills and hollows, and when the wind gets to blowing it sounds like the breath of God on a beer bottle.

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Song reaches me

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