Song reaches me

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Thanksgivingeatingsleeping – HIKE

thanksgirlOMAHA OMAHA!

Construction paper cornucopia on the wall and Snoopy’s retahded ass in Pilgrim attire. I made turkeys by drawing around my hand. We made Pilgrim hats and Indian headbands. Although the teachers told us they got along to have a meal on a picnic table, I always thought of dressing up as either a Pilgrim or Indian and killing my enemy – either a white or red man wanting the death of the other colored man.

NEBRASKA!  –  HUT!

Looked around on the internet for Thanksgiving Day things.

Movies – nothing notable. I could not find any with Indians killing Pilgrims or vice versa. Hollywood has dropped the ball. Thanks, Jews.

Books – nothing except this:

turgenev

This Turgenev really has the spirit of Thanksgiving in him. He fails at delivering on Pilgrims killing the shit out of Indians, but there is hunting and hunting and more hunting – and because there is hunting there is a lot of wilderness. This is a manly book that only the Russians (prior to Hemingway) could muster. There is even a story in this called ‘Death’ that is about a motherfucking tree KILLING a peasant and the peasant doesn’t really give a damn as people stand around watching him DIE.

BLUE 80! THANKSGIVING FACTS – HUT

Mayflower

– Only half-full of Pilgrims and half ‘strangers’.

– There were two ships set to come to the ‘New World’. The smaller Speedwell made it halfway across the Atlantic and had to return because of sabotage!

Pilgrims

– Got along pretty damn well with Indians for a while

– Dressed flashy. Only drab at church. From a Pilgrim’s will: “one blew clothe suit, green drawers, a vilolete clothe coat, black silk stockings, skyblew garters, red grograin suit, red waistcoat, tawny colored suit with silver buttons.”

First ‘Thanksgiving’

– 3 day feast! Mostly deer, fowl, corn, and fish (bass, cod).

– Attended by 90 Indians and 53 Pilgrims.

Holiday

– All I hear anymore is the name ‘Lincoln.’ I could give two shits about Lincoln. The most work went into creating this national holiday by Sarah Josepha Hale who wrote the radical poem: ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’.

– Texas – used FDR’s economic shenanigan of moving the holiday to a week before the last Thursday in November to have TWO Thanksgivings on both dates. Remember the Alamo, brothers. I’m with yas.

Turkey

– A guinea fowl used to be imported to England from the Ottoman Empire. They were called the ‘turkey fowl’ and when the birds from North America were imported to England looked similar they called them turkeys too. I always wanted to know this. I want to shoot a ‘turkey’.

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Indians

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Me and my little bald professor

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Snap it

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Breaker Breaker

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Musha shugyō

In the feudal period rōnin would go from school to school to test other samurai by fighting, killing sometimes. It’s a far more honest life than academia.

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WHO TOOK MY HAIRY TOE

potato

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Oldass Retro Beer Commercials

Bearded man driving a jeep with a grizzly bear. He drinks a Hamm’s while talking to loggers. The bear rolls in mulch. Champion.

Sailors get off work. Their friends are having a clam bake and they have Schlitz beer on this cold day in the 70s. I always wanted a Schlitz because I saw a old man in a movie drinking it.

Insect sounds. A motorcycle comes down the road and its engine sounds like it is saying “Rainier Beer.” Goddamn!

A metaphysical nature scene on Busch Mountain. The streams are frosted up. The water is cold. A deer looks at you.

A pretzel is thirsty for this Stroh’s Bohemian beer and waddles over to it and is creamed all over with beer.

People are scared shitless of Big Jim. Big Jim comes in and wants a big mouth beer. Then he runs off because he’s scared shitless of Big Jim too.

Poor bastard loses log rolling and is heckled and bullied by his peers and goes in and picks up a gigantic barrel of Old Milwaukee and pleases the shit out of the assholes. Shoves a dick into the water.

The MOOG inventor is jamming about Schaefer Beer. He loves it to death.

Guy teases a chick with Stroh’s beer that is protected from light. He has sex with her bohemian ass.

People are into all these extreme sports – bullriding and jumping off cliffs – where eagle’s speak. They ride horses and hang-glide. Cowboys pass the Coors like a hot potato. It’s not for city fagsters. Another beer made from mountains.

Chicks are skiing around while Red Foxx is driving batshit crazy down the slopes to give some cracker and other ski-tards some Colt 45.

Ed McMahon is thirsty as all hell at a county fair and he finds out that Budweiser is the best reason in the world to drink beer while on a Ferris wheel.

Patrick Swayze is cleaned up and ready to disco. The guy was a fucking A1 natural at dancing and he drinks PBR and has an outstanding time at the discotheque.

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“Woof woof,” said Clint. “Woof woof woof.”

eastSmall story I wrote for HCR -> read here

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